Bee stings stink.

Carson got a little lesson on how a bee will defend itself and its colony. Last night around 6 pm Carson got stung on the eye. I took a picture just a few minutes after it happened.

Then again this morning.

And again, just before bed tonight. Poor Carson!

(Here is a little video to show him moving his eye a bit. Gives a better idea of what it looks like. You'll noticed in his good eye that his pupils are still dilated from his eye exam this afternoon. No glasses for Carson!)

Regrets and checklists

To begin with, my sweet middle son, Carson, will turn 7 in just 3 days. I can't believe this and still wonder where the time went. I've been posting his baby pics as my profile on Facebook for the past few weeks and seeing them takes me back to the exact moments those picture were taken. I want to go back to those moments and kiss his baby cheeks one more time. Since that's not possible, I grab him as often as I can and steal some from him. He only fights it sometimes. I have read a lot on middle children and heard other people who share that spot in their families mention what their life is like. Often they feel left out and unimportant. I have made it my goal as a mother to avoid him feeling like this and want, more than anything, for him to grow up knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is cherished by his parents. I believe at his current age that he DOES believe this. One interesting thing I have noticed that is true about all I've read about middle-kids is that he's hard to buy for. Of course, buying him a book is easy, as he is our LOVER OF BOOKS! (This is a picture of him asleep with light on, book in hand, taken last week.) But to go to the toy store and buy him something, your guess is as good as mine. He's a 7 year old boy... almost anything will do as long as it's from the "boy" aisle. But to know exactly what he would want is quite difficult. Now, our other two are EASY to buy for. Hayden loves skateboarding stuff, Bailey loves Toy Story stuff. The good thing about sweet Carson is that he's pleased with anything. Even if we buy him something he wouldn't have chosen for himself, he is thankful and will play with it happily.

I'm guessing that in the "birth order" concept, he will remain the "middle child" even though technically he AND Bailey will be middle-"childrens." (That's for Michelle and Mikaela.) Any of you who have more info on 4 kids, especially three kids with a HUGE time space between the first three and the 4th, comments are welcome! :)

My next month will be spent focusing on Bailey. He will be turning 6 in March (on Parker's due date) and I want to honor him and look forward to having his little face as my profile for a few weeks. Of course, the month following that will be all-about-Parker month as we all get to know who this little guy is. I look back on the other boys' babyhoods and can see particular traits that they had even then that continue to this day. Hayden has always been an athlete, an an achiever, and on the go. Carson has always love books and enjoyed being all alone. Bailey has always loved being with his family and at home. To this day all of these attributes ring true! Funny story about Bailey... he still loves to just be at home. I had yet another doctor's appointment Thursday and he had had just about enough of our running around last week. (PWOC, doctor's visits, midwife visits, unit coffee, etc.) As I was instructing them to all get their coats on Bailey started to whine. "Why do we have to go again?!? Can't I stay here?" "Why no, Bailey, you are 5 years old and I cannot leave you at home alone." To which he replied, "you can just lock the door." He truly wanted me to leave him at home and lock the door. Funny kid! I say all of that to say I'm looking forward to spending time watching Parker to see what kind of person he will be. Will he love activity like Hayden, peace and quiet like Carson, or the coziness of home like Bailey?

Also regarding Parker and his first few months, I want to remember more. I loved having 3 babies in 34 months and would go back and do it all over again, the same way, if I were given the chance. I love how close they are to each other, in age, but also as friends. However, I must say there are things I missed that I wish I had done better. Here are my regrets:

1. I had a crappy camera during the first 2-3 years of their lives. I am highly disappointed with the quality of the pictures I have of those years.
2. I was a poor photographer at that time. Not much can improve this other than experience, so I can't really kick myself about this one, but the pictures I DO have could have been better if I had known a little more about photography and had a better camera. (I often joke that my sons will enter marriage with three gifts from me: 1. A Dave Ramsey FPU class under their belts. 2. A good camera to start taking great photos of their new lives together. 3. A set of Pampered Chef pots and pans AS WELL AS tutorials-by-mom on how to use and care for them. These were things I wish I had had at "Marriage: Day 1.")
3. I would have napped more. I don't remember much at all of Carson's first year of life. I was SO tired. I had a 2 year old, a new born, and was pregnant. He didn't learn to walk until I was in the hospital having Bailey and my mom and dad walked him up and down the hallways. I had just been too tired to do much for him. Plus, now I remember how uncomfortable it is to bend over while preggo. So, thankfully he has a neat story of how his Nana and Papa taught him to walk at 13 months in the hallways of Gaston Memorial Hospital.
4. I would have cooked more. I was NOT a willing learner until they were a bit older. I did the basics but didn't apply myself as I should have and therefore we spent too much money on eating out and eating quick-fix meals. I have learned the value in cooking from scratch (or at least mostly from scratch) and feel now that I am contributing to our financial future rather than draining it.
5. I would have done the finances for our family and taken that stress off of Matt years earlier. (Deployment made that a requirement and I have seen that I can handle money wisely and can actually make Matt's life much easier by simply removing that task from his to-do list.) I would have also learned to use coupons earlier.
6. I would have kissed the boys more. Like, hundreds of times a day. I can't tell you that I didn't kiss them that much, but I would go back and make sure to get as many in as possible. Those baby faces grow up and become kid faces too fast. And I love some big-kid hugs, don't get me wrong, but there's something special about baby-kisses!
7. I would look at them more. I might start crying here, just thinking back on those years in our Ferry Road house... They were years I treasure and I think it makes Mary's "pondering" make sense to me. We had major struggles there, learning how to be married, how to be parents, how to manage a home and finances. We hated how small our house was and dreamed of expanding it to "fit" us better. Now I look back and think that the size of the house really doesn't matter. I could go back and live in it again and be just fine. Well, maybe if our family was just as it was then... not so much now with 6... I might want to expand it a little. But I would tell myself not to let the size of the house be such a major annoyance. Our memories of that place are all so special and I really do treasure them.

With all of those things I regret, I want to try to avoid those regrets with Parker. I want to take a lot of pictures, some of them being really good. (Some are destined to be "just capture the moment" shots, but I do want some that I can frame.) I want to nap when I can so I can be alert and rested when he is awake... even in the middle of the night! :) I want to cook smartly, so we can eat healthful meals and at the same time, I can help us meet our financial goals (DEBT FREE, HERE WE COME!). I want to kiss him every time I see him and I want to look at him with eyes that already know how fast this time will pass. (I almost don't want to wish away the next 5 weeks while he's still safely in my womb because I know as soon as he enters this world he'll start growing up right before my eyes.) And I want to treasure the now, this moment, each moment, knowing that before long it will be something I can only ponder. I want to experience it and enjoy it IN THE MOMENT.

Even with so much going on, my mind is actually starting to settle. I am getting more and more things checked off my list. You know... those things you really want to get accomplished before a baby arrives. Just a few of these items included:

• Getting the nursery completed. We did, black-out curtains and all.
• Finding treats for the boys to open while I'm in the hospital: Today I spent an hour in the BookMark today buying those wonderful items!
• Packing my suitcase: Partially done. (The toiletries that I use on a daily basis are still in the bathroom, but I have a post-it note on my mirror for Matt just in case we end up in the hospital and he has to come back later for my stuff.)
• Stroller/Car seat put together: Done, though not installed. I am waiting until after Mom and Dad get here so we can actually pick them up from the airport. Once Parker arrives we'll have to take 2 cars to get all of us somewhere. But, Matt will be able to come back and get the car seat while I'm recovering.
• Hebammeespredsturde: (If this is misspelled it's because the midwife has poor handwriting... I'm trying to write what she wrote down.) This is my "midwife appointment." We met together and I gave her all of my medical history. She took notes and created a file, called Gravidogramm vorhcinder. (Again, if this is misspelled it's because her handwriting is illegible.) "File" would be so much easier! I was able to tell her what I wanted during labor and delivery (EPIDURAL) and ask specific questions.
• Baby shower: Now, let me say, this was not on a list of things I had to do or at all expected, but it was something I received anyway. The Wiesbaden Chaplains' Spouses' group gave me a surprise shower last week and blessed me with a high chair...the last of the baby things I still lacked, along with other baby necessities. That was SUCH a fun night!
• Getting a 2nd refrigertor: Yesterday a HUGE one became the newest addition to our family!! NOW I JUST NEED TO START COOKING! (Hard to see in this picture as small as it is, but Hayden is standing beside our almost-7-foot-tall fridge that fits perfectly in our laundry room. I didn't even have to put it in the basement!)

We have four and a half weeks until Parker arrives. I pray that he turns in the right position (he's sunny side up right now). I pray I can keep my blood sugar levels under control (they've been all over the place this past week). I pray my ketones go back down. (They had been at 0-5 for several weeks but the past 4 days the numbers are up in the 40s and 5os). I pray Parker waits until at least 12 March so my parents will be here for the festivities. (And because I really don't know who I would call in the middle of the night to take me to the hospital or to watch my boys so Matt could be with me in delivery. I will say, I've had plenty of people offer and in a desperate situation, I will call them.) I pray I can deliver Parker safely and don't need a c-section. I pray they will give me my epidural. (I have been assured that as long as I come in at the right time in my dilation process AND the anesthesiologist is available, I will have it... same as in the states, but still, praying for those two things to work together for my benefit.) I pray I can do better at listening to the boys (that's another story for another blog, but let's just say I'm tired and I really have to force myself to focus when they start telling me about yet another skateboarding trick that I really couldn't care less about... just writing that makes me feel like a horrible mother...). I pray Matt is able to adjust to the gloomy weather of Germany. I thrive in it. Matt, not so much. I pray that my three older sons know without a doubt that though I will be spending mucho energy and time on our new baby that I love them fiercely! In fact, I've been trying to prepare them by saying, "I'll have to spend a lot of time with Parker, feeding him, holding him, changing him. But just remember, when YOU were a new baby I spent the same amount of time with you." Hopefully it'll stick and no one will feel neglected.

If I were better at updating this on a weekly basis, these posts would not be nearly as long. However, I refuse to put a stipulation on myself. I am learning how to say "No" to certain things, even things I enjoy or feel obligated to do. I'd rather do what I can and when I can than set rules for myself, feeling guilt when I can't meet those demands. SO, I update when I can and it's usually a slew of words. That's what works for me. And if you've made it this far in the blog, then you are probably not too annoyed with me and won't complain about the length of this post! :) If you were annoyed, you would have stopped reading long ago.

I hope to update again before Parker comes, sharing the latest and greatest events in our lives. Until then, tusch! (pronounced "chuse" said in a sing-songy voice... that's for Matt)

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!

(PS Sorry for the poor quality of pictures. I've been pretty lazy about getting my real camera out lately and have been relying on my iPhone. A bad habit I must break NOW!)

A little of everything...

What a full month we've had. Let me start by saying how thankful we are to live in an era that appreciates its service members. Every time I am thanked for my service I am taken aback because I am not in the service, my husband is. But on a regular basis people tell me how much they appreciate my willingness to let my husband serve our country. I know the wives of Vietnam vets had a completely different experience and for that, I am so sorry. I wish things were different. They served in even more difficult times, times without internet connections and DSN phone lines. They really had to serve in ways I never will. I am thankful I am a military wife during this particular time.

The community around Colorado Springs is especially sensitive to the needs of military families as we have 5 military installations located here. One of the many organizations that has taken time to give back to the military is Operation Military Kids. One of the ways they reach out is by hosting a Night in the Museum at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. We arrived after the Museum had closed and picked our sleeping spots. (This picture is of the boys viewing a HUGE dinosaur skeleton at night, while the rest of the world slept... it was much later than our normal bedtimes!)

Then we had a four different "activities" that gave us hands on opportunities to learn. (This one is the boys learning how to heat an MRE... Matt said these are Meals Reluctant to Exit (although their technical name is Meals Ready to Eat.) I think my boys' favorite was the Planetarium where we got got to "fly" from the museum to Afghanistan! It made us all a bit queasy as it felt SO real, and then while we were in "space" we actually flew THROUGH Mars. Bailey LOVED that!

We slept in the Space Odyssey Exhibition and felt quite a bit like we had lived through yet another youth group lock-in! But it was fun nonetheless! (This picture shows the "room" we turned into our bunkhouse before we unpacked...) (This picture shows the same room from the back corner after we unpacked. I placed our suitcases near the door to make a "door.")

Changing subjects and going back in time a week we had one of our biggest medical emergencies as of yet. Many of you remember Hayden busting his head open when he was 3 and getting 5 stitches, poor guy. Most of you will remember Bailey's bike crash a few months ago that really scared me. Now Carson has had his turn at reminding me that I am the mother to three very active boys. He was riding his bike on the sidewalk from home to the park (they are not allowed to ride in the street without me outside with them). The park is one unit away and behind all the houses so the most dangerous part is riding on the sidewalk toward the park... mostly a safe trip. Well, a lady was walking her dog on the sidewalk (how dare her!! Just kidding. Pedestrians have the right of way and bikes aren't supposed to be on the sidewalk... I know, I know.) Carson swerved to get in the grass but his front tire went into a small groove between the sidewalk and the grass. Not sure exactly what happened but he busted his mouth on the handlebars and knocked out his front tooth. (This is his first lost tooth but at least we found it later!!) He came home screaming and as I heard he enter the house I knew that it wasn't a small injury. I met him at the door and blood was everywhere, as mouth/head injuries produce absurd amounts of the red stuff. Fortunately the floor plan of this house has a bathroom place right by the garage door and we were right there at the sink. I tried my best to settle the little guy but he was screaming in pain. I tried my best to keep him from seeing his mouth and all the blood and did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. Once he was rinsed and had soft paper towels stopping up the blood I went back out to find the tooth. There was blood all over the sidewalk and I later had to clean it up. (BBC was going to come clean it but they couldn't find it. How in the world they missed it, I'm not sure. But it took some Peroxide and an old toothbrush to get it cleaned up.)

Anyway, I called the boys' dentist and the receptionist answered. She tried to get in touch with the hygienist or dentist but they had all gone home. While I was on the phone Matt arrived which was great: he was able to snuggle Carson who was no longer screaming but was still crying. It was too hard for me to hear the receptionist while Carson was crying so it was really perfect timing. Poor Matt had to come home to chaos that night! The receptionist gave me some tips for taking care of him and told me if I was uncomfortable I could take him to the ER. We hung up and I was debating on taking him in when the phone rang. She called back to let me know that she had eventually heard back from the dentist who was already on her way home. She wanted me to have the option to bring him in right away and of course, I needed to do that. 15 minutes later Carson was in the chair having X-rays taken of his mouth. I was so pleased that she was willing to do this! I was even MORE pleased that back in April I had changed dentists and the boys all had taken X-rays there so she had something to compare the new ones to.

After cleaning his mouth and examining him, she sent him with the receptionist (who stuck around to be an extra set of hands) and she talked to me. She really felt like he could use stitches but thought it would be a good idea to wait 24 hours to see how well his mouth would heal on its own. She sent me home with all sorts of things to clean and medicate the wound with, as well as instructions on how to do that. Carson had stopped crying by the time we left for the dentist and he never even whimpered while she was digging around in his mouth! She could not believe how tough he was! 20 hours later we went back in and she was ABSOLUTELY AMAZED at how much he had healed. He did not need stitches and she just wanted me to continue treating his wound and having him eat only soft foods for a week. This past week we went in for his 3 week check-up and she was completely convinced we had made the right choice. His mouth looks great and as far as we can tell, there are no tooth fragments in his gums. (To explain exactly what happened when he knocked his tooth out, notice the tooth below. It still had live roots attached, and was at least 6 months away from coming out on its own. He probably knocked it up and it hit the adult tooth. It came straight out through the gums making an incision all the way up to where his top lip is attached to his gums. Looking back I could see that he HAD to have been in severe pain! When I got my wisdom teeth removed I had them completely put me under and my 6 year old had this done in one split second with no pain relief!)

I've had some people ask me if I could have had them put it back in and the dentist said it was not a good idea with a baby tooth. An adult tooth, yes. I would have put it in milk and they would have done that. But not a baby tooth.

(This was the syringe I used to clean his wound several times a day with salt water.) Bailey in the background glad it's Carson about to be worked on and not himself!) Carson would lie perfectly still while I worked on him! Again, a tough little guy! And here's the cutie with a swollen top lip! Missing a tooth!

And a final note to update you on our little one. I had my 12 week appointment this week and it was SO neat to see our fourth child moving around. He/she was very active and adorable! It should not surprise me to see this child go from shrimp-like to human-like in a few short weeks, but it never fails to amaze me. He/she was sucking on a hand, and kicking around. I can't wait to start feeling him/her, but more than that, I can't wait to be able to officially call this child a him/her. The anticipation is fun, but I know I won't be able to wait until March to know if we're having a Parker or an Anna. Unless, of course, this child is as modest as Hayden was and refuses to show us what we want to see! Seeing our child made this a bit more real! We are excited and are thankful (almost) everything is going along well. The "almost" refers to the fact that I failed the one-hour glucose test and will have to go this week for the three-hour one. While I don't look forward to this, I will sit in a waiting room sans kids for 3 hours reading. As a mother, I must admit it sounds kind of relaxing.

Okay, so I said that last one was a final note, but there's one more note...

We're going to Disney World!

I have always wanted to take the boys there while they are still of the magical age, but never thought it would be possible. Well, thanks to Disney for having amazing military deals on 5-day park hopper passes and to Melissa, our travel agent, who got us a hotel/food package for less than half what it would have been otherwise! I can't believe this is happening, but I am thankful it is!

A friend from high school suggests letting family and friends who would have purchased Christmas gifts for the boys give us "Disney Dollars" so the boys can each buy a souvenir. I thought that was a great idea. Only problem is, we're going in November, before Christmas, so I'm not sure this will happen! But it's a great idea, anyway!

Well, off to make lunch for my stinky boys! They've been out playing on the playground... mmmm... yummy.

Absolutely Random

After our wonderful trip to Crested Butte, Hayden and I ended up quite sick.  We had the worst colds we've ever had, and are still praising the Lord that Matt and the other two boys stayed well.  I will say it was kind of nice being sick while another parent was in the house.  Not only did Matt take amazing care of me and Hayden, he also kept the house clean, laundry washed, and all of us fed.  We are better now, though that annoying persistent cough is tagging along for a long ride. 

Last week we spent catching up on school work (Hayden has tested at 5th grade reading level!!) and getting more in before our "Spring Break."  I have been working constantly on preparing things for our cruise.  Things like renting our convertible for the 4 days in LA before our cruise.  Like cooking 14 meals and freezing them so mom and Linda simply thaw and heat.  Like shopping for a new bathing suit and spring clothes (honestly, my spring wardrobe was quite lacking from last year, and it hit me last week that I'm still wearing winter clothes...won't need those in Mexico!).  I wrote all the instructions for mom:  not that mom can't do this without instructions, but I figured if I've already done things the hard way and figured out what works, I could at least share those with her.  Whether or not she and Linda do things the way I do doesn't matter to me.  But I really do want to leave them with as little to try to figure out as possible. 

My final job is to clean the house today.  That's my Monday job, but yesterday I was quite busy.  I cooked, got my nails done for the cruise, cut the boys' hair, then I went to dinner with a friend who is moving.  When I say "moving" I mean to KANSAS and while I'm on my cruise!  This is the person God put in my life to be my back-up parent while Matt was in Iraq.  She lives right across the street and I could count on her to watch my boys in an emergency or while I went out for a run.  She and I swapped child care and food, ate pizza every Tuesday night for a year, and generally enjoyed watching each others' backs during deployment.  

Before I could even consider working on the house or packing, I needed to make sure my SC cards were put on computer and CD.  Fortunately I only had about 15 pictures that were not uploaded and burned.  These were of Bailey's birthday party!  I am so amazed that my youngest child is 5 years old.  I look through the scrapbooks I've made and they take me right back to the moment he was born, the baby years, and I miss them.  Bailey has been a blessing, though he has been our most challenging child!  In the past year he has been diagnosed with SPD (originally by the neighbor I mentioned in previous paragraph, then by our doctor, and finally by Occupational Therapists).  After diagnosis, he spent 6 months in OT and graduated the program in record time.  Bear with me while I give you the stats:  At the original testing he was 50 months old but tested at 28 months in fine motor skills.  6 months later he was 55 months old (not quite 56 months old) and he tested at 55 month level.  Right on track for his age!  Most kids take a year to get caught up, and he came from WAY behind!  He's a great learner, just needed some help with his sensory issues.  Last year in preschool he wouldn't TOUCH a crayon, much less scissors.  This year his teacher has to drag him out of "art center" and encourage him to go to others to achieve a variety of preschool experiences!  I'm floored by his transformation!

Birthdays this year have been very low-key.  Those in NC know I love to make a big deal out of them, but this year with Matt coming back just 11 days before Carson's, we were in no state of mind to do anything major.  We went to a movie in the afternoon, then had two families over for cake and ice cream.  For Bailey, we went to Chuck E Cheese's and then had families over.  But he had asked for the same families with an additional two.  Well, let me tell you, this drained Matt.  He had a good time visiting, but for two days after that he was in silent mode.  We've decided (with Hayden's approval) to host his party outside of the home.  Matt's still not accustomed to large crowds in tight spaces.  (I will say something fun about Bailey's party:  We had 5 families here, and in those families we had 11 kids here:  10 boys and 1 girl!  Bless her heart!)

Well, I just spent an hour on the computer updating, uploading, and burning.  I guess I need to get to the real work of the day!  I'll post after the cruise!  I still can't believe I'm going on a cruise!  First of all because we've never been in a financial position to do so, but also because we're not beach people.  BUT:  We LIVE in the mountains so to see the beautiful beach will be nice!  (Poor Matt...he said while in Iraq that he could live the rest of his life never seeing sand again!  Hehe!!  But don't let him fool you...he's really excited about this trip, too!)

Carson, a door, and some glue...

Tonight I was sitting for a friend while she presented some information to other Army wives about Military Etiquette. I had my sons, ages 7, 5, and 4, plus her sons, ages 4 and 1. We had a good time playing outside while our dinner was cooking away in the oven. The bigger boys rode scooters while little Jack rode in his stroller. After our last trip down the road I sent them all inside.

 

Corie's door that enters the house from the garage has a MASSIVELY strong spring. One kid entered the house and kept on walking. Carson, not knowing to watch out for a quickly-shutting door, walked right into the door. It hit him square on the forehead, causing a small gash. It bled like you wouldn't believe, but with this being our second head wound, that didn't freak me out. We entered the house to grab something to stop the bleeding, and once I handed him a paper towel with instructions to press hard, I sent the two 4-year-olds upstairs. They are buddies and went nicely. Hayden stayed downstairs to keep Jackson entertained. Carson sat patiently while I removed the pizza from the oven (but kept sneaking peeks at the bloody napkin, which allowed more blood to soak onto his pants...oh well...).

 

After 30 minutes or so had passed, the bleeding had slowed, but it was still wet. I didn't feel comfortable NOT taking him to be seen, so I took Jackson next door to their neighbor's house (they trade sitting) and drove to the house where Corie was because there was a nurse there. She said it looked like it might need a stitch or two, so I then took Aidan to the same house where his brother was, and then took Hayden and Bailey to MY neighbor's house.

 

Let me say this: I LOVE the military community. There is never a second where I wonder what I will do in case of an emergency. We really all do take care of each other, and I am thankful for Maddie (sp) and TJ.

 

Before I went to the hospital I stopped by a friend's house. She was hosting the "Saturday-night-deployed-wives-get-together" thing. I knew there were a bunch of women who would pray for my little man. (I also called my parents and had them praying. Since I live only a mile from the hospital, I didn't have time to call anyone else...LOVE FACEBOOK MOBILE UPDATES!) The sweet ladies there put their hands on Carson and prayed for healing. They also prayed for a speedy and easy trip to the ER.

 

This was the BEST ER visit I've ever had, and we've had our share. The lady at the front desk was nice, smiled, and talked TO HIM, which was a big deal. Then she came and checked on him while we waited. The nurses who took his information were pleasant and friendly. Then the PA's who treated him were gentle and funny. They joked with him, told him what was going on, and praised him for being so brave. He never cried or really complained. When the glue burned, he said, "There's something pokey on me!" and the PA said, "Darn those pokey things!" Just kept him at ease the whole time.

 

SO pleased with the evening I will probably go back Monday and make a formal "compliment" (do not read as complaint...I have had to do that at this hospital before).

 

A neat idea I had last February when I was visiting family and friends in NC...take your laptop and some movies. This keeps the kids entertained and their minds off the upcoming procedure. Tonight we watched part of Minnesota Cuke while waiting. It's a great thing to have distraction, plus it gives them something to do since I won't let them touch the germ-infested toys they have in the waiting room. (GROSS!)

 

Thanks for the prayers and concerns!

~Jennifer (and Carson, of course!)